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i went to the awards ceremony last night. what a load of ass that was. it was 2 hours long and…

just look at all these awards that i didn’t win! but i can’t complain about that, i did get the web design 1 award. go figure. glenn was there, so i sat with him and we talked and made fun of things the whole time.

“see that big trophy up there?”
“yeah…what is it for?”
“you mean you don’t know? why, it’s the sadie sham award!”

that’s funny because this one girl, sadie sham, won about fifty of the trophies and scholarships. overachiever much? whatever, she’s nice. but c’mon, really now… (this is me being sort of jealous but not really admitting it because, after all, this was a school function and i can’t get excited or show emotions other than apathy about these sorts of things. that is all.)

today we presented our “foreign foods” in french class. i made morroccan couscous with vegetable sauce. it was lovely. there was so much of it left that i took matt a bowl full at lunch. aren’t i a good girlfriend? hell yes.

he still never said anything about the damn rude note he wrote me. he said kim and jill were talking about me cheating on him or something. it figures, you know? and consider the crap sources… what is everyone’s sniveling problem. and why am i so interesting in the first place? maybe it’s jealousy. who knows. i’ll just make myself feel better and say it’s jealousy.

the omnibus coffee house was today after school. i went, but didn’t have 5 bucks to buy a magazine. so i just ate the food and stood outside the doorway and listened to the poetry being read. i helped matt cut the cake and serve it by smearing icing on his face! i’m such a good girlfriend. hell yes. my favorite poem was definitely “my bitter apple”…LOL.

“it’s uhh…about… uhh…my dad’s affair with…uhh … his secretary! yes, that’s it!”
(that’s ass. i always knew what it was about. someone was too scared to admit they had written a poem about their jealousy of me and matt’s relationship. go figure again.) so the whole thing had a good turnout. omnibus made $700 in 20 minutes. go them!

after that, i hung out with matt for a while, and was feeling pretty sad about some things. how come every girl best friend i acquire totally turns on me and starts spreading my feelings around to everyone? will it make them popular? look cool? i mean, what is it? if anyone has dumped a best friend of a year and a half, or has been a victim of this more than once, tell me sometime. i’d like to see if we can figure this mystery out. why does ripping a girl’s feelings in half seem logical? i haven’t done that to anyone; i would expect the same. but people are very immature in high school. i suppose that’s why. immaturity. get a life and quit trying to ruin mine.

later, i went to john’s house to finish up the history review sheet. that was more fun than working alone. and he has a nice tv and keyboard and cat and dog and truck. lucky kid. he said something sweet too, he said “matt has no reason to want to cheat on you…i mean he has everything.” i thought that was so wonderful.

i read some diary posts about what a couple thought of punk music. one of the kids considered himself “punk” about a year ago. but they said nothing good of it, such as “it’s nothing but a bunch of kids running around fancying each other’s mohawks.” that hurts, because people don’t understand. they don’t give it a chance. not all punk is the same, it’s not all crust and limey poseurs. but that’s the image people get, and even those who consider themselves “music gurus” are willing to investigate further. they just poke and prod and make fun of the scene. that just makes them look ignorant. i play “punk” music because it is most like how i feel. it makes me happy to listen to it. it makes me sad…aware to listen to it. i am open to so many different genres of music; just a lousy “punk rocker”. open up and learn a little about the music. it won’t hurt you. and you’ll just be that much educated.

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