hello, i am exhausted from work. there’s nothing quite like trading five hours of yer youth for money. there’s nothing like using those five hours lost to stay out at night so you’re tired in the morning! then you get to do it all over again…
last night i went to matt’s to watch “the addams family”. i am reminded again just how lovely and delicious angeleca huston is. i had to keep telling matt to stop thinking about the eleven year old christina ricci. everything was so divine.
i changed the water for my roses today. they’re lovely. i feel so special sometimes now. i have roses.
every time we spend time together, i feel like the bad things and situations that have hurt me are trying to fade. i had a dream last night, and i was telling a certain person that they were really actually a good person, deep down inside. they were really upset, and asked why i had cut them out from my life. i told them, and then i asked them a question that has been burning inside. i asked why they had lied for so long to me, and why they didn’t give up on the person i love, and why they tried to steal my happiness away. right before they answered, i woke up. i just wanted to cry. it’s so frustrating. but it makes sense, because i don’t know the answer to that question. and probably never will.
today i decided to bring my cam to work. i wanted everyone to see my funny looking apron and what kind of a place i work in. observe and love it! urr, if ya don’t know, i’m a waitress at my mother’s 1930’s cafe.
the 30’s radio in the front hall. the floors are checkerboard!
where people sit. i like the fireplace and the wood floors.
the house was built in 1925, and has been a schoolhouse and a number of other things. now it’s a lunch joint. heh.
this is me looking so excited about wearing this ridiculous apron. it’s the “uniform”, so at least i’ll try to look cute. just…not now.
this is maggie, the other waitress. she’s a lot older, but pretty nice.
today i got my report card, for the last nine weeks, i made all a’s and one b. kiss me because that rocks. i didn’t fail any exams either. next year i’m considering dual enrollment at the community college to earn college credits. it will rescue me from the heinous high school drudgery and the kids i hate seeing every day. every day i find someone else is lying to me. one girl, i told her her the last day of school that her hair was wonderful; she had dyed black. it was a chelsea. i told her it reminded me of my chelsea days. i liked her poetry and told her so. it’s not like i should care much about these people, simply aquaintances. but these people wonder why i’m so bitter sometimes. why i can’t trust people. and i shouldn’t, because it only ends up hurting you so much.
this is me driving away from the school, stuck in traffic.
me and evan went to barnes and noble and the mall tonight. we looked at that hotel lachapelle book (if that’s what it’s called), and various other books. then he got applications for claire’s and afterthoughts because he needs a job. i filled them out, since i have better handwriting. such fun!
i heard bats chattering to each other in the trees when i took my dog out. i wonder what they chatter about?
Dokujitsu: “Here’s my gun, I call it Head and Shoulders. It’ll get rid of all you flakes!”