pissed again

hearing: rob zombie – superbeast | feeling: pissed

saturday night my boy and i had a lovely evening. we talked, we laughed, we were happy. and still are.

i am trying very badly to keep from biting my nails or clipping them all together. i want a little length for prom in two weeks, but i haven’t had length since the fourth grade? such a challenge. they look all raggedy-assed right now with flaking red polish.

yesterday, me and stephanie started a rumble in melbourne. we went to the mall to kill some time, and i got: a black camisole with pink lace accents and straps, a plain black stretchy tee shirt, and some black bracelets. we saw the two cutest lesbians we’ve ever seen, and they stared at us and i grinned. after we were done with that, we headed to the cinema to see “chicago” (for lack of better movies). i liked it more the second time.

later, we grabbed some chinese takeout and had a feast. we talked about all sorts of girly things.

tonight however, was a little different. i told jay that i wanted to hang out with him – lately he’s been so “busy” with his business, that. well, anyways. so i went by his house but no one was there. i drove all the way to merritt island to visit matt and see what he was up to. we watched snow white and had a fine time. towards the end of the movie, jay and chris and everyone call us, telling us to come to denny’s (all the wayyyy out by my house). we finished the movie, then headed out to meet them. however, “conflicting persons” were present, and luckily spotted before entering the restaurant, or getting out of the car. a few minutes later, about 10 of our “friends” leave the restaurant and a few come and talk to us.

it seems that i’ve been used as a nice little spring board to every single last one of my friends. it started with me, moved to matt, and has progressed into this horrible, sludgey monster thing; quite strange. and every single last one of his friends have been consumed as well. by god, i can’t have anything or anyone without someone coming along and taking over… or trying to. it’s like this freak show, a twilight zone rerun. this sludgey friendship consumer has annihilated every single LAST ONE of me and matty’s close friends. disgusting.

matt was pissed. so pissed. and he did just that… right on everyone’s door handles and bumpers.

i wanted to take photos, but didn’t have any subjects to take pictures of.

so in conclusion, i was really looking forward to seeing some of my ‘ol chaps. but this is a lesson on how not everything works out how you want it to. ever. and it’s very sad i fume so badly about this whole sort of deal, but i have such a hard time making and keeping friends, that it really makes me feel bad when it gets taken from me. but isn’t that how the game works?

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