stolen from lj user=”zombienoon”

lj-cut text=”lol, old testament”

When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:
When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord – Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness – Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination – Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? – Lev.24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

16 thoughts on “

  1. I’m thinkin’ you’re pretty either way, I figure if you know how to skilfully pencil in your brows… go ahead and do it. Actually… hmmm, I’m thinkin you should keep your brows… just make them very thin and use like… a brow pencil to define them? Yes, yes, that’s what I think.

  2. You are so gorgeous either way. But just thinking about the trouble of penciling in eyebrows (I always imagine horrible images of what I’d look like coming out of the shower if I didn’t have eyebrows), I say you should just keep yours extremely thin & then maybe do some penciling?

  3. i agree with everyone brenna. while you look acsolutely stunning either way, imagine what you’d have to go through if you shaved them off :o\ it doesnt sound like fun to me. PLUS my old manager at hot topic used to pencil them back on so ive seen what it looks like when you pencil them on incorrectly or it smudges off or something. it looks awful. remember darlingface, we live in FLORIDA. i dont wanna see you running around UCF with one eyebrow and the other smeared off ;o)

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