Yarrr Maties.

Just because I don’t have enough going on right now in the next few weeks, Friday at the shop, a piece of debris flew into my left eyeball. Now, usually I just blink out any sawdust or eyelashes out. I’m pretty good about this. But because it hurt like hell, I rubbed it (with dirty, sawdusty hands). All weekend my eye had been painful; I thought I was coming down with pinkeye. Wrong answer.

I called my eye doctor, and they referred me to a fancy pants ophthalmologist. He checked out my eye and said there was a speck about 2mm above my line of vision. If it were lower, my vision would be blocked. He said wood is the worst because it usually has bacteria, but if it were metal speck it would have been better because it’s sterile when it gets heated. So to remedy the situation, he numbed my eyelids and dragged a needle across my eyeball, “like an ice cream scoop,” to scoop up the debris. He also told me side effects might be a scar causing glare… a kind of sort of permanent side effect. So after the scooping was done twice, he fixed me up Elle style, but not as hot. I probably won’t have any effects, he said, thankfully.

If I was having a pianist audition in two weeks, my fingers would have been cut off. If I had a modeling job on the runway, I would have jammed by toe. So it only makes sense that my eye would get screwed up two weeks before my pilot tests. Kind of like when I had a wickedly bad sinus infection a week before my surgery. If it wasn’t for shit luck, I’d have no luck at all! I told the doc it was a good thing I didn’t have a hot date tonight. He said I could be like Pirates of the Caribbean. I replied that I could just go in costume & no one would ever suspect!

I’m going crazy because I’m stuck in the house doing nothing. I need to go to the post office & get Star Wars stamps & mail packages! I have to get my dress fit! I have to get a bra for said dress!

Poseur1039: Come to my graduation party! There’s gonna be CAKE! liquor!
Pandoralydia: What do you want for a graduation present?
Poseur1039: You. In a gift box.
PandoraLydia: Sweet. No I wanna pop out of a cake wearing a g string.
Poseur1039: EVEN BETTER!
PandoraLydia: Did you know that Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper inside?

10 thoughts on “Yarrr Maties.

  1. once i got a piece of sand in my eye.
    they had to scrap my eye too.
    it sucked.
    but i did get pain pills for it.
    that was nice.
    will it be better before your exam?

    • It should be better before the wedding this saturday! Can you imagine being maid of honor with a pirate patch? i’d have to attach a hook to seal the deal… my dad was best man & wore an eyepatch in his brother’s wedding! like a real black pirate one.. because he got in a huge fistfight like, two days before and it was all swollen and purple! my family just doesn’t have t3h luck with eyepatches…

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