matt hates me again. i dunno what to do. i’ve tried and tried to talk to him about what he can do to be a good boyfriend, but naturally, he lies to me when he says he cares and/or is listening. why does he forget about me every weekend? he’s like, “why can’t i have any other friends besides you” and well, he seems to find them every weekend when he “promises” to do something with me. promises. promise what? to act like i’m not even his girlfriend? other guys call their girlfriends. they like their girlfriends. and to think after 19 months he can’t figure a few simple things out about me? he’s too busy flirting with other stupid sluts to notice me anymore i think.
he used to love the way i look. he never looks at me anymore. whenever we do something, i have to beg him to take me out or call me. and then it doesn’t even happen. we haven’t done anything decent for like, a month. tonight he “promised” to call me and let me know what’s going on for tonight. he doesn’t call, so i call his house. he’s at josh’s. that’s cool, but why the hell didn’t he call me to let me know what was going on? i just sit here without knowing like an idiot. it’s not fair. my parents want to know what’s going on and “where’s matt?” it’s embarrassing. so i made plans with billie and jenny to go shopping.
as soon as i get out of the shower, matt calls. he’s all pissed off because i made plans. well, excuse me! then he’s all like “i’ll talk to you later then since you’ve made plans.” and i’m like “when are you gonna talk, ever?” and he says “online.” which is a joke, i’m sure. i’ll wait and wait and sign off at midnight. but that’s besides the point. he totally mocked me when i asked what’s wrong, just to piss me off more. why does he do this to me? it hurts me.
and on top of all this drama, a stupid snakey stalker is all up in my site. get a life, and quit trying to be involved. you’ve driven away your three best friends, isn’t it time you gave it a rest? ugh, loser.
school’s out, starting today. and i’m already a wreck. but my hair is a wonderful black.
so i went out with billie and jenny and it was wonderful fun. it seems everyone that doesn’t go to merritt island high is so great. well, with the exception of two or three. as soon as i went outside to get into my car, it started to rain, and poured the whole way to books a million. it stopped when i turned off my car and sat. as soon as i tried to open the door, it rained hard. just my luck.
so i went inside and waited a few minutes and read a time magazine with “teen sex” on the front. it made me sad. so we went to target and i got 2 shirts and a pretty eyelet nightgown (to wear out places, of course). then we went to checker’s to eat. everyone on courtenay was honking at us. we just gave them thumbs up. i suggested, on three, that we struck our best hooker pose. one..two.. three! great fun.
me and jen elliott are gonna hang out really soon. we both think guys are awful, so maybe we’ll get along better than ever. wonderous.