idle

i sit here out of sheer and utter boredom. i’ve looked at all the sites i have bookmarked. i’ve checked up on friends’ sites. i feel like i should be doing something. in fact, i’m supposed to be, i’m sure of it.

the house is empty. i feel the same. i usually revel in the quiet. this time i have music playing. it’s the cure. when’s it my turn?

so many people visit my site, yet i hardly receive emails anymore. i do, however, appreciate the tags everyone is leaving. i’m glad i can get some feedback. i know that if rumors are plentiful, i’ve had some visits. hah, how ironic.

i went to the musical rehearsals, but no one was there. the place was totally empty. every door was locked, and every gate shut tight. i wanted to wait around, but there really wasn’t any point. so i drove home. everyone has such nice cars. they drive like assholes, too. like they know and think they’re better than me because they have a mustang or a camero or an escalade. on that note, my car’s been making very strange squeaky noises when i accelerate. i just don’t think that’s very good.

i hate change so much, yet i love spontaneity. i like to be comfortable with things, with people. i like subculture styles, but like to have a boy i can bring home to my parents. i would like friends, but i’m overly shy or overly talkative. nervousness. i contradict myself.


i would die for you x i’ve been dying just to feel you by my side x to know that you’re mine

i want to take an auto shop class. but one with just girls in it. i was walking out to my car today at the high school and i walked by the auto shop class. there was country music blasting and boys scratching their balls. no thank you. i’d like to learn in a crabs-free environment. i’d like to take a beauty course too, like a hair and makeup course. maybe at the community college someday. i am in love with makeup, i just wish i had more and knew how to do things better.

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