friday i went to a yard sale. i bought a needle for my record player, a bevis and butthead book, and a copy of heavy metal for matt. there was an artist spotlight on an artist he likes, not to mention cheap drawings of unrealistic huge tittied women being overcome by bigger men. awesome. it was all two bucks.

i got really sick at school and puked in the toilet of the girl’s locker room. the teacher kept sending other girls in to see if i was okay. i felt like yelling “YES I AM OKAY NOW LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE AND LET ME VOMIT IN PEACE!” but that wouldn’t be very nice, now would it?

i was promised i would see spiderman. i should have known better. so at seven i went to stephanie’s house to hang out. her parents weren’t home yet, and aliya was supposed to come over. well it ended up we picked up aliya and went to wal-mart. we looked at patterns and fabric, and it all was hideous. i got my money orders for my ebay stuff, though. and some eyelash glue in case i choose to wear my blue lashes.

after wal-mart we headed to kris’ apartment. it was across from merritt island high, and there were two ambulances there, a fire truck, and a helicopter from orlando regional hospital. i wonder what the hell happened? must have been major; i saw someone on a stretcher. odd.

when we got there, caleigh, kim, rose, dirty, leur, richard, and some girl asheley were there. all just sitting around. some were on the roof. what a depressing place; i hated it. there were witchcraft books laying around, along with some star wars roleplaying books. but hey, it was something to look at while everyone rolled their eyes and whispered to each other. everyone has to babysit kris, because he is “manic depressant”. in my opinion, he needs serious help from a psychiatrist. his friends can’t cure an illness, and is so much to ask them to do so. we’re fucking 16 years old; we should be having fun and going out. not dealing with problems that we will have to deal with maybe later in life. it’s just too much.

i was so tired last night, i just fell into bed and (bonk) i was out. i worked for a while today. so boring.

i made a wishlist. here goes:

1. romance
2. love
3. someone to be enamored with me
4. the rocky horror picture show dvd

now wasn’t that fun? hm. i am seeing spiderman tonight. no one to go with; no boys want to go with me because no boys like me. “personality” and “cute” aren’t what guys are looking for these days. “ass” and “titties” is more like it. i want a guy that will love me for me. i think i am in love with a premonition in my mind. or the idea of love. it’s impossible. i feel so lonely all the time, even when i am with people. i want to be swept off my feet and carried. i want to be loved.

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